


Hindsight

by BaronVonChop



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bad Flirting, M/M, Very Bad Flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-06 01:52:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11026116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaronVonChop/pseuds/BaronVonChop
Summary: As much as I love the Hux/Poe ship, I think that, realistically, it would probably go something like this. (Short version: not so well.)





	Hindsight

The door to Poe Dameron’s cell opened, startling him awake. He raised his head and blinked until the room came into focus. He tried to move, but a restraint chair held him fast. It would have been nice if the past few hours had been a nightmare, but the gray walls and utilitarian layout of the room reminded him that he was a prisoner on board a First Order Star Destroyer.

Poe turned his head to see who had entered the room, and he recognized General Hux. The ambitious general’s quick rise through the First Order ranks had not gone unnoticed in the Resistance. Poe had sometimes wondered what drove someone like Hux.

This was his opportunity to try to find out. He had nothing better to do, and if he could get Hux talking, maybe he could delay the next visit from the interrogators.

“Hey,” he said. It was the best he could come up with for the moment.

For a moment, Hux seemed taken aback that Poe had spoken. Then he sneered at the exhausted pilot. At least, Poe thought he was sneering. Perhaps that was Hux’s default facial expression. 

“Ah, the famous Poe Dameron, hero of the Resistance.”

“Just ‘Poe’ will do,” Poe said, shrugging as much as his restraints allowed.

Hux lifted his chin. “How disappointing. You look nothing like your poster.”

“You have my poster?” Poe asked. After two tries, he managed to smile. “If you go get it, I’d be happy to sign it for you.”

Hux grimaced, unless that was supposed to be a smile. “Maybe if the Resistance picked pilots based on their skills instead of their good looks, you’d actually stand a chance.”

It took Poe a moment to come up with a response. “Why pick one or the other? I’ve always said that the true test of a pilot is the ability to multitask.”

Hux pursed his lips. “And how will you be employing your skill at multitasking while in the custody of the First Order?”

Poe was having trouble following the conversation, but he made an effort. “It might keep me from getting bored.”

Hux arranged his face into an unnatural smile. “Would you like to demonstrate to me what you have in mind? I promise you won’t be bored.”

Something about the general’s unctuous smile made Poe’s mind race and his skin crawl as he thought of what new tortures Hux had in mind. Poe’s dry throat clicked when he swallowed. “Uh, you don’t have to bother on my account. Just send the interrogators back in.”

To his surprise, Hux’s face turned red and his eyes bulged. The general actually started to tremble as his voice rose. “We’ll see how bored you are when Kylo Ren interrogates you!”

* * *

“...and then he left,” Poe said, concluding the story. Finn and Rey stared at him across the mess hall table.

Rey shook her head in amazement. “I can’t believe that’s how he tried to flirt with you.”

Poe’s smile turned into a look of confusion. “Flirt with me? I thought he wanted to torture me! What makes you think he was trying to flirt with me?”

“I overheard a lot of bad flirting at Niima outpost,” Rey said, sounding sympathetic. “A lot of it kind of sounded like that.”

Poe scoffed good-humoredly. “Come on, nobody’s that bad at flirting.”

Finn shook his head, his face somber. “Trust me, in the First Order, people are that bad at flirting.”

Poe thought for a second, then waved a dismissive hand. “Oh well. I wish I’d realized it at the time. I think General Hux might actually be kind of cute, if he ever relaxed.”

“So… never,” said Finn, smiling.

Poe laughed. “Pretty much!”

* * *

“You flirted with him?” Phasma demanded.

Hux fumed. “It’s like he didn’t even notice!”

“Maybe he didn’t,” Phasma said, her voice flat.

Hux began to pace. “How could he not?”

Kylo Ren crossed his arms. “Why are we talking about this?” he grumbled.

“The next time I have him in my grasp,” Hux said, grinding his teeth, “I will show him true flirting!”


End file.
